Margie May 1/21/1923-1/4/2009

From The Carroll County Times

Margaret M. Young, 85, of Keymar

Margaret May Young, 85, of Keymar, formerly of Westminster, died Sunday, Jan. 4, 2009, in Gettysburg, Pa. Born Jan. 21, 1923, in Baltimore, she was the daughter of the late William E. and Lottie May Clark Brooks. She was the wife of the late Leonard LeRoy Young. She was a homemaker.Surviving are sons Charles L. Young, of Spring Grove, Pa., and Donald L. Young, of Keymar; a sister, Marie E. Wyant, of Federicksburg, Va.; six grandchildren and six great-grandchildren.

She was predeceased by a son, Larry Eugene Young; a great-grandson, Richard Liptrap III; and a sister, Frances Shearer.

A funeral service will be held at 2:30 p.m. Friday at J. J. Hartenstein Mortuary, 24 Second St., New Freedom, Pa., with the Rev. James R. Sunderland Jr. officiating.

Interment will be in Mount Zion United Methodist Cemetery in Freeland.

Friends may call from 1:30 p.m. until the time of service Friday at the mortuary.

Margie May, I can still hear my Grandfather calling for her, my Grandmother.

I can't believe she is gone.

My middle name of May, is after her, my first name Dorothy is from my last living Grandparent.

My Grandmother wrote her own obituary. I am surprised she didn't include her maiden name of Brooks. She really was a Brooks, much like her father, my uncle Donald is more of a Brooks, business minded, hard worker, crazy schemes and ideas. Whereas my Father, Charles is a Young, hard worker, unambitious, weepy, sentimental type. I do believe I am a mix of all four of my grandparents. Although my Mother tells me I am like my Grandmother Young.

I am very matter of fact like she was, sometimes say things without thinking as she did and as of late I have started to burp out loud if I need too!

Another thing we have in common is the loss of a baby boy. Grandma is the middle of 3 daughters. In between each of those daughters her mother Lottie, lost 2 sons, who were stillborn. The 3 daughters always wore dresses, but still worked hard. Their Father had a "store business" and had them in a band...he taught them to lay shingles and work like Men all while they wore dresses! My Grandmother married my Grandfather, it was a big upset, as she was 8 years older than my Grandfather and clearly not well suited according to her father. It caused a big rift that eventually healed. But Grandma had my father and then 2 years later Donald. Her third pregnancy she delivered Larry Eugene Young, still. Some 20 years later I too delivered my baby boy Richard Albert Liptrap III, still. I am not at all surprised that she mentioned them both by name in her obituary. That is a pain that never goes away, a pain we had in common.

Grandma with her 6th Great Grand Child Logen Click

As a small child my family lived with Grandma and PapPap Young for a time. I was the first grandchild and with my Mother traveling most every weekend, my Grandma Young would have me. She and PapPap spoiled me, they took me to the Apple Harvest Festival, to carnivals, the park, our local airport, anywhere they were going, they were happy to take me.

My Grandmother labeled everything... Dorothy May Young (20 mo old) and our dog Bozo (10 yr old) June 16, 1973Dorothy May Young at her great grandparents Young's Grave Mt. Zion Cemetery. Sept 9, 1973.

(Yeah, I had issues with this pictures all through my childhood!)

My Grandfather's family is all here, they are all buried together in the same beautiful Cemetery. On the other side of their car which is the back ground is where my son would be buried some 20 years later.

They let me make my own mistakes, even if it meant I would accidentally shoot Ketchup all over the front of Grandma's white dress while at a festival.

"Grandmaw" Young, that's how I always spelled it, so she would sign her name that way, spent countless hours playing pick up sticks, putting together puzzles, or rubbing my back. I don't ever remember her doing anything else, except for making food, when we were together! We both were great at pick up sticks!

My Grandmother had on several occasions told me some things I thought was very funny: When asking why her Sister Francis and her husband never had children my Grandmother replied, "Well, he always wore a raincoat". Immediately I pictured Uncle Charles in this big yellow slicker with boots. It didn't make sense! Then I realized she was meaning that he wore a condom.

Another time while staying at her house for an extended period of time she asked me if I was going to have any "bad days" while at her house? Again I was confused, so I sad, "bad days"? Then somehow she had to explain to me that she wanted to know if I would be menstruating!

I once had the privilege of taking her and her widowed Sister Francis out to lunch to a popular buffet in Westminster. We had been together most of the morning, Grandma and Francis were singing this little songs they sang as children into a tape recorder. Giggling and laughing like they were children. We headed into lunch and ate a fair amount. It was time to go and we headed towards the car, when Aunt Francis realized she had left her belt. We were all confused by this, but Francis explained, "I just kept eating and eating and the belt felt tighter and tighter, I took it off!" We just roared with laughter, barely able to spit out the reason we were back inside the restaurant.

Another time we headed to Hardees for lunch and we were having a hard time finding a place to park! We turned the corner and saw what looked to be like an available spot, but when we reached it we discovered that someone had taken up two spots by their poor parking! We found another spot and when we walked by the car in two spots my Grandmother looked over in disgust and said, "Hoggish!" We laughed and giggled, it's still funny to me today!

My Grandmother was good to me and I was good to her. She would mail me letters all through out my life, most often included in them would be clippings from the newspapers, with her handwriting explaining about the article. Some times it would be articles about my Church, once she found a picture of my other Grandmother as a child and mailed it too me. I would often visit my Grandparents and one time I noticed that Grandma had cut the paper towels in half to use less. When I got out to college and was shopping I found the junior sized paper towels, a roll of them and I packaged them up and shipped them to her.

My first summer home from college my Grandfather helped me to land a great job! I was an egg packer in a smelly old packing plant just a short distance from the chicken house! YUCK! But because it was so close to their house, I would spend one night a week there with them. She'd make a really nice meal, let me relax, rub my back...it was great to be taken such great care of!

I had a wonderful visit with her last summer. She was really great about giving to those what she thought belonged to them. If you gave her a gift and she was no longer going to be using it she felt it was only right to give it back to the person who gave it to her.My parents gave her this turkey platter, years later when she no longer

could make a turkey she gave it back! We spent many Sunday afternoons eating a delicious meal at her house! I loved her mashed potatoes and creamy slaw!

As usual during our visit she gave me my envelope with pictures in, pictures I had colored for her, with the date written on the back. Newspaper clippings she thought would be important to me. I have 2 or 3 of these envelops. This last one was different, all framed pictures came back in their frames. She had been downsizing. She had already given me her cedar chest, the desk her Father had made for her and a host of other breakable items. It was a good visit.

At Thanksgiving, I was in town and wanted to go see her. But because of a family misunderstanding and a horrible illness I decided against it. I didn't want her to be as sick as I was, so I didn't see her. I don't regret it even now that she is gone, I was just that sick!

Monday night December 29th I got the phone call from my Father. Grandma is in the hospital, she has a blockage of her bowls and they can't operate. It doesn't look good.

Tuesday night December 30th, another call this time from my Mom, Sister, Dad all telling me, if I wanted to say goodbye I had better head this way. A hospital Chaplain had already been in and told the family if Margaret were Catholic, he would have already done her last rites with her. It was Tuesday at 7:30pm, I had waited too long to come home. I was tired, I knew I couldn't make the drive. It was then that I knelt in Prayer and told the Lord that I would lay down, I would rest, I would call the hospital at 3am. If she were still living then I would go, if she had passed then I would wait. At 2:45am when I called, the nurses told me that she was still hanging on...and I told them that I live in NC and I am on my way. I was out the door by 3:15am and made it to her side at 9:45am. (apparently it was all the talk among the nurses, and my record time...) I stayed all day with my Grandma, my sister, and then my Mom.

She was so weak, shaky unable to do for herself, in pain, uncomfortable, she kept asking for a ice cold drink! She would smile when she was trying to make you understand her words. Her mouth was so dry, we would swab it. The entire day we helped her, moved her in the bed, would fix her pillows, tend to her tubing that was constantly clogging... Her Sons would only come and stay a little while, my Dad couldn't handle it, my uncle had already let her go. I was disappointed in their wives. Always coming in with her sons...so that when her sons left they could too! I could barely pull myself away, how do you leave someone unattended who needs constant comfort!

(while my mother in law lay dying in the hospital, I sat with her the entire day when her own husband and son couldn't, I asked members of my church to come and Pray over her and they did. I just feel like your spouses family is as important as yours and I felt it my responsibility as her daughter in law to comfort her...so I really don't understand how my Grandmothers daughters in laws couldn't, wouldn't)

My Mom drug me out of the hospital around 10 that night and took me to visit some old friends for New Years Eve. A wonderful time, another post.

Next morning, I spent some quality time with my other Grandmother, knowing it would be awhile before I saw her again, and knowing she won't last forever either. I headed back to the hospital around 10 with my Sister. We both thought she would be gone any minute after seeing her. She really looked bad. It was so hard to see her like she was, in obvious pain and suffering. No longer could she drink, as she had lost her gag reflex, no longer could she open her eyes and smile at us. Several times I encouraged my Dad to come for a visit, she just looked so bad. Then when I felt like she had nothing else left I leaned in and told her just how it was in typical Grandma Young Style:

Grandma we have all been here to see you, you are very sick, and your body can't get any better, your body isn't working for you now, and you don't need it anymore, your whole family loves you very much, but you've got a whole other family who loves you too, and who hasn't seen you in a very long time. Your son Larry will be there, your Mom and Dad, PapPap, your Sister Francis. Your beautiful dress is cleaned and pressed for you to wear and your son Donald is taking care of everything just like you asked him to do, so you can go now and we'll be with you again.

It was hard to do and no one else could do it. This is why I am like my Grandmother Young.

I can do hard things, I have to do hard things, I don't like to do hard things.

I stayed until 4pm and then I had t make the journey back home. My Grandmother lingered on until Sunday at 10am, when she could finally go back home.

I can't really go through those envelopes, old letters, newspaper articles yet, in time.

I still can't believe she is gone.